1. What are the best reasons to have an American baby overseas? (Choose only one)
- Not having to worry about funding her Presidential campaign in the 2040 elections.
- It’s probably cheaper than an American birth.
- Availability of cute foreign baby clothes.
- If you’re bored, the paperwork involved with birth abroad will keep you occupied for months.
The other day Sweetie took a day off work and drove around chasing Cleo’s birth certificate from the hospital to the Registry of Babies to the Stamper of Baby Papers to the Ministry of Long Waits. I was afraid I was going to get stuck with this job, but thankfully the UAE process is very father-oriented. Papers must be presented by the infant’s father, in person, or his representative, says the hospital receipt. Thanks, UAE!
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2. What kind of forms will you need to file in order to begin registering your baby with two governments plus a consulate?
- Certificate of Authentic Babyness
- Affidavit of Infant Presence
- Application for Recognition of Newborn Person
- All of the above plus two (2) translated copies.
In order to get the birth certificate we had to get our marriage certificate authenticated, which, if you have never had to do this, is a very interesting process. You send away for a signed copy of your original certificate, and then the governor of the state where you got married has to sign it, and then the Secretary of State has to sign it, and then the US Consulate has to sign it, and by the time you get done your marriage certificate is buried under a wad of papers and gold seals. It is a very impressive-looking document by then; you feel extra-married.
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3. True or false? By the time you’re done, your file of paperwork and receipts will weigh more than the actual baby.
The actual birth certificate is very pretty. It is printed on heavyweight hotpress paper in a nice creamy color, with the government seal at the top. It is filled out by typewriter. If the person operating the typewriter makes a mistake when spelling your baby’s name, it is easier to just call your baby by the typo. I was very happy to see that Cleo’s name was spelled correctly.
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4. Cleo’s main nickname is:
- Cupcake
- Baby C
- Queenie
- Mama’s Little Bundle of Red Tape
But the birth certificate is just the beginning! Next we need to file a couple forms with the Consulate, my favorite of which asks you to swear, “To the best of my knowledge, I am the natural mother of the following children:_______”. It reminds me of the “Has your luggage been in your possession since you packed it?” question they ask at the airport. Then there is the passport application, which is three pages long and makes you list an occupation (BABY SISTER, or DIAPER-FILLER?). Then there is another form that requires a copy of my high-school transcript. Possibly that is the one where they deport you for having flunked Algebra 1 in tenth grade.
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PS – Did I ever mention that one of my favorite movies is Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil”? I am just waiting for they day they hand me a Form 57B-6 to fill out. I will not be at all surprised.
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February 9, 2008 at 6:47 am |
1) 2
2) what do you do if you aren’t married? does the baby not exist? how do you get papers if the father is dead, or abroad, or a deadbeat?
3) 3, i hope!
and your new nickname should be ms. tuttle.
February 12, 2008 at 4:49 am |
My brother was born in California in the 1960s to my Scottish parents. In order to get him a passport to fly back to Britain they had to swear that to their knowledge his wee baby self was not and had never been a member of the communist party. I laughed very hard when I came across that document many years later carefully filed next to a passport photo of his scrunched up newborn face.
February 12, 2008 at 10:26 pm |
Wow! Don’t I feel blessed that having a baby in Louisville, KY means one form to fill out and one more for a Social Security number! Thanks for sharing your experiences it is great to hear about how other countries handle different things.